Diary of a park ref, Chapter One.

I saw him coming out of the corner of my eye. Most of my concentration was fixed on the sordid scene unfolding before me. While a few grown up players watched with thinly-disguised contempt, about 15 players were doing battle with varying degrees of hostility, from frankly pathetic flaps to full-blown right hooks.They were the blows I was on the alert for from my strategic vantage point five yards away, as 2 or 3 of them would be getting red cards.And then, from my left, increasing speed, came the goalkeeper, running 30 yards and launching himself in the direction of one opposing player feet first with an impressive leap. There was no blood-curdling karate-style screech to go with the flying head kick, but it was impressive nonetheless. Fortunately for the victim, the boots missed his head by a couple of inches and caught him on the shoulder.Off they went again but the energy went out of the battle a minute or so later as some players were pulled away by others who had realised how much trouble was looming. Result? Three red cards for one team and two yellows for the other. It was clear that one team had sparked the trouble and contained a couple of poorly disguised sociopaths.The trouble, unfortunately, didn't stop there. This was a council pitch on one of Maidstone's less salubrious estates and a couple of the sent-off players soon returned to hurl abuse from the touchline, literally threatening to stab their opponents.Ten minutes to go? Abandon the match? To be honest that would have been suicidal so we continued. The team with 8 players was losing by a hatful, so didn't really care too much and we saw out the last few minutes without too much anguish.But on the final whistle, the miscreants leapt into action again, attacking the players they had already assaulted, drawing blood with various punches and kicks. The players (and your good self) made a beeline for the dressing rooms, grabbed clothes and jumped into cars, making a quick escape.Result: 10-0 and one team thrown out of the league. Net gain for FatRef. £23 pound fee and a life richer for the experience!